Personal space is not just about what we have, its also about how we live. Practicalities first – how much order do we need, how much chaos can we take? We take the particular why that we function in our personal space so much this can vary from person to person.
Our organizational habits can be very revealing, and sometimes surprising. Not all surgeons or spacious loft apartments are tidy, any more than artist or family homes are necessarily chaotic. When two people start to share a home, the degree of order and chaos each is prepared to put up with becomes clear within days. Whatever one thought of as normal behaviour (polishing the staps after use, stockpiling food, keeping tights in the fridge) is thrown into relief by the others habits.
But judging others against our own standards is not usually helpful. Who is to say whether it is controlling our simply tidy to insist that towel are left on the towel rail rather than on the radiator? If you let your old newspapers pile up on a corner of the dining table are you easy –going or a slob? It is all subjective. In the end the only opinions that mater in this area are your own and those of the people you live with.
To be happy to your own home, you need to make up your mind how acceptable you find your own organizational habits. If it makes you happier to see your friends having a rowdy time thatit does to see every surface gleaming, than accept that even aspiring to purist lifestyle is a waste of effort. Some people barely notice the toothmarks on the sofa because they love their dogs more than they furniture. If shape, colour and form are in themselves a huge source of pleasure to you, than having beautiful things in your home is an end itself. It comes down to how perfectible you believe your home can and should be.
Is your tidiness – or lack of it – a reaction to another person in your life? Are you still rebilling against your parents by choosing live differently from them? If you still living at home well into adulthood, organizing your room differently to the rest of the space marks it out as a semi – detached household. If your parents is at the opposite end of the order – chaos axis, how much of your behaviour is to prove a point? And are you tidying up after another person because you like things to be tidy or because you do not want them to be there?
Your Place On The Order – Chaos Axis
Look at the kitchens in the picture and choose the one that most reflect the general degree of order in your own home. Write down whether you have choosen the top, middle or bottom picture.
Next read through the following sets of six statements. Copy down the one in each block (A-E) that describes the lifestyle closest to your own.
Look at your five choices as mini-portrait of yourself. Does is sound like you? What is missing? What are you proud of and what would you change?
A.
The laundry basket is usually full
I regularly send clothes to a dry cleaner
My linen cupboard is in good order
I prefer my clothes to dry in the air and sun
I scent my linen drawers
I would rather but new clothes than keep washing them
B.
I cannot bear to see things left on the floor
I have a place for everything
I am always throwing stuff out
I am always rearranging my things attractively
I like to put unexpected things together. If I put something down by chance and it loks good I will leave it there.
I often run out of supplies
C.
I always rinse dishes twice
I wash up before I go to bed
I wash up after every meal
I wash up in emergencies
I do not mind washing up because warm dishes and foam feel good
Washing up is a penance
D.
I always check my bills carefully
I file my bills away
I spend a little time on my bills as possible
I know roughly how big my bills will be
Often I cannot find where I put my bills
I would rather not open my bills, thank you
E.
Open shelves my be easy, but I do not like the way they collect dust
I love cupboards with invisible catches
If you have cupboards you will only fill them with junk
I have special places for special objects
There is nothing more depressing than a wall of fitted cupboards
I do not know what is in my cupboards and drawers
